FANCASTING FOR LAND OF THE GIANTS REBOOT
"THE CROOK/'AND SPECIAL GUEST STAR!…'"
The series (1968-1970):
ALEXANDER FITZHUGH
(feminine versions are Alex and Alexandra)
Aged 55-57
As in other Irwin Allen shows, the antagonist cast member must start out bad and threatening, but as the show progresses, he or she begins to show a softer side, usually towards a younger cast member. This means, of course, that our Fitzhugh & Barry must have chemistry. The candidate must also have an aptitude for comedy, as well.
SAFFRON BURROWS
Aged 48
A Brit, Saffron first appeared on the scene as the fighter pilot heroine in the movie version of
Wing Commander. (I suppose this makes her eligible for “The Pilot” candidate as well.) She played an ethically challenged scientist who messed with killer sharks in the movie
Deep Blue Sea. She continued to face moral choices playing agent Victoria Hand in the series
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. She did acquire
fae experience in the 2003
Peter Pan film as adult Wendy Darling.
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
Aged 55
For several years, if you needed an actress who could play quirky, eccentric women with questionable fashion sense, you went to British-born Helena Bonham Carter. Former hubbie Tim Burton followed that thinking, as Helena starred in
Alice in Wonderland; Dark Shadows; and
Sweeney Todd. Other movies included
Fight Club; Great Expectations; and
Les Miserables. Her “good girl” role as
Cinderella’s live-action Fairy Godmother also gives her
fae cred, as well as seeking out Tiny Alice.
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
Aged 44
Sarah’s role as the sexy villainess from the movie
Cruel Intentions was evil hot, and she also donated her voice to play a Sith chick in the animated
Star Wars Rebels series. Her claim to fame, of course, was Buffy Summers in the series
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (certainly a physical role, and being quirky funny would check off the humorous bad girl requirement). Playing Daphne in the
Scooby-Doo movies displayed her knack for 1960s Valerie Scott fashion. Finally, a couple of big-budget horror movies have featured Sarah being chased by serial killers (or giants?).
EVA GREEN
Aged 40
Most of Eva’s films have involved people who were the antagonist or at best had doubtful loyalties. Eva’s first notable role as a nasty was a Bond girl/double agent in the 2006 remake of
Casino Royale. Tim Burton cast her as the witch villain in his
Dark Shadows film, then she was the baddie in
300: Rise of an Empire. Next was a scheming femme fatale in
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, followed by the series
Camelot as arch-witch Morgan Pendragon/le Fay. (Noticing a pattern here?)
LUCY LAWLESS
Aged 53
Smacking the world of TV syndication like a chakram to the forehead, New Zealander Lucy appeared as the titular antiheroine Xena in the series
Xena: Warrior Princess. (Her co-star Renee O'Connor got to shrink in an episode, so a little bit of SW status). The pattern continued as she starred in the series
Ash VS Evil Dead; the rebooted
Battlestar Galactica as a “human” Cylon; and the series
Salem as a witch Countess. Altogether, she has the comedy chops to go with all the over-the-top physicality (insert Xena war cry here).
CHARLIZE THERON
Aged 45
The lovely from South Africa started out a sweet girl, playing the Beauty to the Beast in the movie remake of
Mighty Joe Young (and simultaneously providing herself Big Ape self-respect). Since then, she has almost exclusively gone antiheroine or evil with her roles. She made a splash (of blood) and won lots of awards playing a serial killer in the film
Monster. Charlize was as deglamorized as it was possible to get, gaining thirty pounds for the role, shaving off her eyebrows, and wearing a fake set of teeth.
Hancock saw her as a superpowered ex-wife; the
Snow White and the Huntsman movies had her as the evil Queen;
The Fate and the Furious has her as a criminal mastermind and cyberterrorist; and
Prometheus as a shady company observer.
UMA THURMAN
Aged 51
Uma first earned her fighting and leather bodysuit chops playing Emma Peel in
The Avengers. (Uma, by the way, is an American with a British accent.) I suppose this also gives her a nomination for "The Pilot" role. Quentin Tarantino made her popular in antiheroine roles for
Pulp Fiction and
Kill Bill. Finally,
Batman and Robin and
My Super Ex-Girlfriend gave Uma her campy comic villain cred.
And that is that! All beautiful baddies, but my top choice here would be Sarah Michelle Gellar, with Lucy Lawless as runner-up.
Cruel Intentions allowed Sarah to show off her hot evil chops.
Buffy let her show off her athleticism and her comedic touch. The entry for "damsel in distress" has Daphne Blake's picture in it, decked out in all that groovy 60s fashion. So, Sarah pretty much has it all. But the main reason she warrants a spot in the
LOTG cast is that we would
finally get (in a roundabout way) the SW Buffy that we have demanded all this years!
But now it's your turn -- who takes it? Whose cuisine reigns supreme? Or who else should be on the list?
(NEXT: ASSORTED QUESTIONS, THEORIES, AND WRAP-UP)