Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

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chesya
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Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by chesya » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:17 pm

I know many people are just naturally contented or just come here to get away from how shitty the World can be so I won't go on about it too much. For most it's a fun game, but I have found that my fascination with size and Alice in Wonderland in particular stems from being sexually abused from a small child and then because of this being open to grooming and further abuse as I grew up. Maybe others like me come here. For those who don't know it, it's not whining, it's a real thing. It fucks you up in ways you can't predict and that lay beneath the surface for years when you think you've conquered it. Last year memories (I had never lost them but I denied their significance) of the major supposed counselling in my life for four years started to make sense - I had been targeted and groomed then cleverly (you would not believe it) abused by my University Chaplain for four years. I had felt bad that I had not been made better by him and blamed myself for the sequence of domestic and sexual violence that followed. Now through proper counselling with safeguards I am learning about the insidious processes that still make me vulnerable. Some here may have experienced my desperate need for approval. If it has happened to you get counselling from a reputable agency.

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Mac
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Re: Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by Mac » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:00 pm

Wow! I too share your history, or a version of it. I am extremely self aware and have gone through extensive counseling myself. I have no concise answers for you. I can share with you though that I had careers, first as a special ed teacher then as a counsellor, and throughout that time I had limited nightmares and could not sleep without getting drunk and high first. Most of the time I 'partied' to pass out. My nightmares always revolved around sexual abuse themes.
After my teaching career ended I chose to address my consumption of mind altering substances, first through treatment for addiction, then by academics. I went back to school. Both helped yet did nothing to get me in touch with the fu@king nightmares! Eventually though I attended my first 12 step meeting and things changed. Now please don't take this as a 'pitch' for anything. I know that each individual has to address their demons independently to assess them. I needed some help and the resources I now use give me that help.
Today I enjoy my life and remain aware of what 'set up' my night mares and triggered my addictive stuff. It wasn't until I got extremely honest with myself that I could become comfortable with the quirks that the kind of horrific abuse I endured leaves behind as scars. And they are deep, permanent, and now, not totally consuming! That honesty allows me to do things like come back here and have fun.
I applaud your open sharing and recognize the courage it took to do that! As far as approval goes you are not alone in that desperation!
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Mac
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Re: Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by Mac » Tue Oct 23, 2018 2:00 pm

One thing strikes me as I read these two posts. And that is there is a clear connection between SW fantasies and abuse. I had the psychology of why that happens presented to me in school. And I get it. Now as a man sitting here typing this I see clearly that the authors of Gulliver's Travels, Honey I shrunk the kids, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, and others demonstrate that this is not new! People have had a fascination with shrinking and size shift dynamics for a long time!
It begs that the question be asked: Why?
We know historically there has been enough demand for this type of literature as entertainment, to have authors become phenomenally successful for a long time now. I'd bet there are stories of SW related themes through out recorded history.
Yep that's me!
Doin' pushups!
Just gettin' ready for all ya little hotties! :twisted: ;)

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sally g
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Re: Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by sally g » Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:42 pm

Don't read me wrong here, because it's a serious subject that I want to be respectful and sympathetic about.

But why do you think there is a clear connection between SW fantasies and abuse, and what sort of abuse are you actually alluding to? If it's referring to your own experiences and how they eventually led to how you view the SW fantasy, then I can understand there might be a link there (but I don't want to pry or make you feel you have to explain yourself). I just wondered if your liking for the more violent forms of the fantasy, may have been triggered by these experiences.

I've been fortunate enough in my life not to have experienced child sex abuse, but I can understand and sympathise with the scars it must leave.

As for Chesya, who I've had a long and lasting online friendship with, I'm of course familiar with the issues that he's shared with us in the past, but I'm sorry to learn that he's had these problems as well.

ps. A timely point for you to chip in Jon, if you're viewing this thread.

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Mac
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Re: Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by Mac » Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:16 pm

I was referring to my 'personal story' as well as many others who participate in this fetish. The 'Vore' genre I think it's called, is actually a typical type of 'response fantasy' to abuse. I've seen versions of that in animated imagery used clinically as identifiers with clients that are in treatment facilities.
Abuse is abuse. The media has sensationalized sexual and physical abuse to sell media. Those horrendous types of abuse are hard to heal from.
I know that more 'nebulous' types are way harder to recover from. Covert Incest, Neglect, Acute 'Put-down humor', are some of the more notable of those.
Make no mistake about it, this forum helps people! It is a huge thing, and it is important!
I'm proud to be a member here!
Yep that's me!
Doin' pushups!
Just gettin' ready for all ya little hotties! :twisted: ;)

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sally g
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Re: Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by sally g » Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:41 pm

Mac wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:16 pm
I was referring to my 'personal story' as well as many others who participate in this fetish. The 'Vore' genre I think it's called, is actually a typical type of 'response fantasy' to abuse. I've seen versions of that in animated imagery used clinically as identifiers with clients that are in treatment facilities.
Abuse is abuse. The media has sensationalized sexual and physical abuse to sell media. Those horrendous types of abuse are hard to heal from.
I know that more 'nebulous' types are way harder to recover from. Covert Incest, Neglect, Acute 'Put-down humor', are some of the more notable of those.
Make no mistake about it, this forum helps people! It is a huge thing, and it is important!
I'm proud to be a member here!
Very good, and thank you for explaining. Many of us don't care for the violent or vore areas of this fetish (be it depictions of it or stories or whatever), but I've never been judgemental about people who do like that kind of thing (each to their own etc). Myself, I just prefer to avoid looking at the stuff wherever possible, but understanding what might attract others to it is helpful and encourages tolerance.

So if being a member of a community like this is helpful to you as an individual, then that's good news.

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Mac
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Re: Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence

Post by Mac » Fri Oct 26, 2018 11:31 am

sally g wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:41 pm
Mac wrote:
Wed Oct 24, 2018 7:16 pm
I was referring to my 'personal story' as well as many others who participate in this fetish. The 'Vore' genre I think it's called, is actually a typical type of 'response fantasy' to abuse. I've seen versions of that in animated imagery used clinically as identifiers with clients that are in treatment facilities.
Abuse is abuse. The media has sensationalized sexual and physical abuse to sell media. Those horrendous types of abuse are hard to heal from.
I know that more 'nebulous' types are way harder to recover from. Covert Incest, Neglect, Acute 'Put-down humor', are some of the more notable of those.
Make no mistake about it, this forum helps people! It is a huge thing, and it is important!
I'm proud to be a member here!
Very good, and thank you for explaining. Many of us don't care for the violent or vore areas of this fetish (be it depictions of it or stories or whatever), but I've never been judgemental about people who do like that kind of thing (each to their own etc). Myself, I just prefer to avoid looking at the stuff wherever possible, but understanding what might attract others to it is helpful and encourages tolerance.

So if being a member of a community like this is helpful to you as an individual, then that's good news.

Vore has never been my 'chosen thing' on this fetish board. It tends to trigger memories I don't enjoy. That being said, the stuff I enjoy possibly triggers others in similar ways. The value of vore to those who are into it however, may be extremely beneficial, to them.
Your statement "encourages tolerance" is important. I see the value in that approach as very positive indeed. 8-)
Yep that's me!
Doin' pushups!
Just gettin' ready for all ya little hotties! :twisted: ;)

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