Re: Being tiny, femine perspective
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2021 4:11 pm
@Kisupure - Thanks for revitalizing this thread! I appreciated reading through it! I'm sorry I missed it when it was active!
I spent a long time trying to figure out why I have this fetish. I've had it literally as long as I can remember. I know that I absolutely hated the movies where shrunken people were captives and subjected to the giant's whims, like Dr. Cyclops and Attack of the Puppet People. (Seriously, those movies give me serious anxiety and I have to stop watching them because I can't deal with the tiny peoples' plights.) Which is weird, because I do enjoy the power play of being helpless and unable to stop a giant from doing what they want.
My main real "good" memory of the fetish was watching, oddly enough, the old cartoon movie of Gulliver's Travels. The light bulb moment was when he was holding the princess and taking her to the prince for a secret meeting. That moment, in my mind, was tender, loving and really...human in comparison to all the other things that I had seen involving shrunken people. My brain apparently went nuts for that, lol.
Over the years, I have had to deal with the damage of a dysfunctional family that was really harsh on my psyche. I came to realize that my brain was substituting the fetish with that concept of care that my brain grabbed onto with Gulliver. That somehow, that was a level of care and adoration that I needed. It's weird and complicated, especially thanks to PTSD, so my brain doesn't make connections the way other people do. It also made me want to use the fetish as a way to self destruct because my brain also liked to remind me that I was worthless to others and no one would ever care and love me the way I need, so I deserve to be used like an object and made worthless. Needless to say, I had to take a break away from the fetish because it was doing more damage than good for me. I'm hoping that I've done the work so that I can actually enjoy the fetish over using it to tear myself apart. So far, I've been successful.
So for me, SW can be sexual, but the core of it is that it allows me to put myself and my cares at the hands on someone else who is there to protect me and care for me. It's hyper unrealistic, which I'm highly aware of, but that type of interaction actually heightens my experience with SW. I'm submissive in nature, so for me, the giving myself to a giant is me giving my trust that they have my best interests at heart and I am allowed to be vulnerable and loved just the way I am.
I obviously have no problem with just the sexual aspects, because I do have physical needs, but I am also an aeswxual demisexual, so, for an rp to have real value and meaning to me, I have to know and trust the person to not be self serving and "greedy". Otherwise, it's just mutual story telling for me with spicy sex scenes.
So, I guess this is the long way of saying that SW allows me to be okay with the fact that I am vulnerable and need someone who will understand and care for that need to be loved and cuddled. I doubt that I will find someone this late in the game who has both the SW fetish and the desire to care for a woman who needs constant attention and care, but I'm okay with that. It is what it is.
I spent a long time trying to figure out why I have this fetish. I've had it literally as long as I can remember. I know that I absolutely hated the movies where shrunken people were captives and subjected to the giant's whims, like Dr. Cyclops and Attack of the Puppet People. (Seriously, those movies give me serious anxiety and I have to stop watching them because I can't deal with the tiny peoples' plights.) Which is weird, because I do enjoy the power play of being helpless and unable to stop a giant from doing what they want.
My main real "good" memory of the fetish was watching, oddly enough, the old cartoon movie of Gulliver's Travels. The light bulb moment was when he was holding the princess and taking her to the prince for a secret meeting. That moment, in my mind, was tender, loving and really...human in comparison to all the other things that I had seen involving shrunken people. My brain apparently went nuts for that, lol.
Over the years, I have had to deal with the damage of a dysfunctional family that was really harsh on my psyche. I came to realize that my brain was substituting the fetish with that concept of care that my brain grabbed onto with Gulliver. That somehow, that was a level of care and adoration that I needed. It's weird and complicated, especially thanks to PTSD, so my brain doesn't make connections the way other people do. It also made me want to use the fetish as a way to self destruct because my brain also liked to remind me that I was worthless to others and no one would ever care and love me the way I need, so I deserve to be used like an object and made worthless. Needless to say, I had to take a break away from the fetish because it was doing more damage than good for me. I'm hoping that I've done the work so that I can actually enjoy the fetish over using it to tear myself apart. So far, I've been successful.
So for me, SW can be sexual, but the core of it is that it allows me to put myself and my cares at the hands on someone else who is there to protect me and care for me. It's hyper unrealistic, which I'm highly aware of, but that type of interaction actually heightens my experience with SW. I'm submissive in nature, so for me, the giving myself to a giant is me giving my trust that they have my best interests at heart and I am allowed to be vulnerable and loved just the way I am.
I obviously have no problem with just the sexual aspects, because I do have physical needs, but I am also an aeswxual demisexual, so, for an rp to have real value and meaning to me, I have to know and trust the person to not be self serving and "greedy". Otherwise, it's just mutual story telling for me with spicy sex scenes.
So, I guess this is the long way of saying that SW allows me to be okay with the fact that I am vulnerable and need someone who will understand and care for that need to be loved and cuddled. I doubt that I will find someone this late in the game who has both the SW fetish and the desire to care for a woman who needs constant attention and care, but I'm okay with that. It is what it is.